Another newbie

Hi all, I'm new to this and I'm here for my daughter who is 9 and has pulled her eyebrows and lashes out completely. I have no clue what to do, she has been having tummy problems for years (lots of accidents) and I think they are linked. Fingers crossed the tummy problems seem to be turning a corner but she's still pulling at her eyebrows even though there is barely nothing left. Any suggestions gratefully received.

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  • Hi there Niclaw12, welcome to the forum.

    I’m nearly 36, but started pulling at the age of 11. I’ve been in therapy through this page, for over a year. My longest PF time was 70 days a year ago. I’ve slipped up a bit of late, but the biggest thing for me is remembering that my hair doesn’t define who I am. If I slip up, that was then & this is now.

    I’ve used lots of different techniques, & am probably still trying to find “the right one” for me.
    I have a spikey ball that I run through my hands, I apply LOTS of coconut oil (it helps soothe the eyes) I try hard to talk kindly and gently to myself-I don’t always get it right, but it’s practice, I try to rub an itch in my eye with the back of my arm (so hands are not near eyes.) If they do go near, I say to myself, “Lisa, remember we don’t do that anymore.” Also making sure I don’t obsess in front of the mirror & finally, one my coach said for me to do today,was to keep a record a few times a day of my feelings. When we pull, we’re not dealing with our feelings and instead shutting them down. With my last relapse, that is very much the case. I had been criticising (subconsciously) people in my life, then as I couldn’t deal with that and the realisation dawned, I turned the criticism & negativity to me!

    When I was younger, we didn’t know the condition was even a condition, and I wish that I could’ve sat with my mum and looked it up, your daughter’s very lucky to have you to help her. All you can do is reassure her she’ll be ok, help her practice self love, talk to her & be there. Definitely try some fidget toys (or distraction techniques) to help her. Keeping our hands busy is very important, but rest assured you have come to the right place and people can help you & your daughter.

    Hope your daughter’s tummy problems continue to be on the mend. Take care & keep in touch. Lisa x
  • Hi Niclaw, have you had a look at our parent pages? There's lots of useful tips and there and if you contact us through the website I can send you our support documents for parents.

    https://www.trichotillomania.co.uk/parents.php

    It's so hard watching your child pick themselves apart, but you're not alone. Keep posting here for support :)

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