Help????

I'm new to this forum thing. I've been pulling my hair out for about a year now. It started due to stress from my GCSE's but has now just become a habit :( I'ts not as severe as others but from my hairline to the back of my head is all just very short tufty hair & is very unnatractive. I've started getting bald patches and so I can no longer wear my hair down as I have to tie it up. I've visited the doctors who has prescribed me with iron tablets but I still need help with resisting the urge to pull? I've gone 5 days now with only one hair pull (good so far) but was wondering if anyone could help me with any ideas so that I'm not constantly reaching towards my head. (stress balls etc don't work for me as it's the feeling of the pulling that satisfies me, as weird as it sounds) thankssss

Comments

  • edited September 8
    Hi fbrxona.

    Welcome to the forum and well done for writing on here. I’m an eyelash puller and started when I was 11,I will be 36 at the end of the year!

    Nothing you’ll write on the forums will sound weird, we all DO understand, and you’re in a safe place.

    I’ve been in therapy for over a year now through this page, and my trainer is AMAZING. I e learnt so much about me & trich.

    I’ve tried lots of different things myself to stop me pulling for eg, a spiked ball that I run through my hands when I have urges, a Kirby grip that I can run along my lip (I used to pull and then get the extra satisfaction from running the hair along my lip) I’ve sat on my hands,etc etc. My longest PF stint was 70 ish days last year, and I would’ve been on day 70 tmrw, but slipped up earlier this week- life happens. The biggest thing to remember is, IF you do slip up, don’t get mad with yourself. We’re only human and the amount of hair(s) we have doesn’t define us. It’s about us as individuals and loving ourselves. Remember the hair pulling is an obsession (obsessive thought process) and when you allow yourself to focus on it, you’re letting the trich monster win. It doesn’t own you, you own it!!!

    I’ve been recently setting reminders on my phone throughout the day to ask me a few questions. One of them asks, “ Is it helpful?” I think to myself, “no,” and move on. This way I’m keeping in touch with my feelings and emotions, but not letting them run my day (I’m choosing my thoughts.) The other one reminds me to be PF in this moment. That’s all that matters. It’s not the thinking part again of “I need to be PF for x days, just in the present moment. Be kind to yourself, talk gently and nicely to yourself too. Try and think if a little child came to you and explained what they had done, you wouldn’t yell at them, you’d help them- help yourself as well.❤️

    There’s lots of different things to try, it will be a bit like trial and error, as what works for one, may not work for another. Lastly, if a lash feels prickly, for me, I rub with the back of my arm instead of my hand or fingers (too much temptation otherwise) and if I notice I’m in front of a mirror (obsessing) starring at my lashes, I remind myself “Lisa sweet, we don’t do that anymore.” It’s getting easier and I know I CAN beat this, just like you CAN too. I believe in you!! Hope this helps you. Keep in touch and let us know how you’re getting on. Xx
  • Hi fvrxona,

    you do need to fight those urges - we'd all much rather pull than play with stress balls! But that feeling only lasts as long as the urge to pull does. The bigger picture is that we really don't want to pull at all. We don't want to lose our hair, have to spend time covering up, deal with the feelings that come after we've pulled or lose all of that time each day. The more you can practise overcoming those urges to pull, the easier it will get. You've done 5 days (maybe more now...?) - and that's amazing! So find something that works for you that you can use as a distraction when the next urge strikes. Plan some things now so you're ready for it. I like French knitting dolls for keeping my hands busy while I'm otherwise idle (television, ugh) or drinking a glass of water, going for a walk or run. Find what works for you and go for it, and if you slip up that's ok, you just pick yourself back up and keep right on going :)

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