Hi everyone, I'm new!

Hi there. My name is Lisa and I'm new to the forum, but have been having coaching for nearly a year now for pulling my eyelashes since the age of 11 (I'm now 35!!)
I've had many ups and downs, (feels like more downs of late.) I seem to really be struggling to get past those new early days and keep the focus and 'magic' going. My coach has been amazing, but I need to put myself out here and speak with you all, as at times it feels incredibly lonely trying to deal with that tric monster and have someone to chat to that understands.

Comments

  • Hi Lisa, I’m Sarah and I’m new around here too. I’ve been hoping to help provide some support and advice to people in this community. I’m so glad you found a good coach, who ‘clicks’ with you and has been able to help you. Making changes to your life is always difficult and sometimes scary but I hope you can find a network of support here. I understand completely what you mean when you say it feels lonely. I sometimes feel very isolated in my life as a carer and I can tell you that having ‘pocket friends’ in your phone, can be a lifeline!

    Welcome to the group, and I hope you decide that this is a good, safe place to find people who understand you.
  • Hi Sarah. Thanks for your note, I found it quite a big step to come on and write on the forums. As silly as it sounds, I felt quite overwhelmed by it and wasn't really sure what to say. It's nice that there is support and advice out there and I like your phrase of 'pocket friends' as I'm sure I will find everyone really helpful. It's nice when you can reach out to someone in that moment (who understands the urges) and get their take on it.

  • Hi Lisa, I'm Annie and wanted to check in on how you are feeling. I started pulling eyelashes around the same age as you! I've been pull free for over a year now. Keep on breathing through the urges or lifting your hand to your face, you're being so brave to stop this :)

  • Hi Annie. Thanks for your message and super kind words. I wish I'd known about all of this so many years ago, but hey, I'm here now and on the road to recovery. A year Pf, that's amazing-well done to you! I've started a thread on here called 'How are you feeling?' I've been recording on there daily and am finding it a tremendous help. Not only because of the encouragement from others, but just by writing down first thing in the morning how I've woken up feeling is giving me a boost (particularly on the days where I've not felt so great.) Would be lovely to chat with you again when you can. Do you mind me asking how long you pulled for? Lisa x

  • What a great idea for the new thread Lisa, I am amazed how much my emotions vary by day even before starting my day, oof. Oh my I guess it was 19 years? 18? I just knew I wouldn't do it forever. Even though I wished I found (effective) help sooner, I was finally ready last year if that makes sense? I didn't need it anymore.
    And its so nice to look in the mirror and have eyelashes! I don't have to wonder what they would have looked like if I didn't pull, anymore. So think about the relief in that!

  • That's amazing Annie and absolutely get the whole, I'm ready and don't want or need it in our my anymore. For me, I don't have to worry about wearing false lashes (didn't do that for long) but it just gave me my confidence back. I wasn't worrying if people could see or whether I'd have to sit a certain way so it wasn't obvious. I used to particularly be aware if I had to look down (in my head people were looking over me and directly at my eyes!!) Daft I know, but its those negative thoughts that just make it worse. Hope you're ok this morning.x

  • edited May 2018

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  • Hi Lisa. I have been pulling from my scalp for 14 years so I know how lonely you can feel. My hardest times are waking up in the middle of the night and feeling incredibly panicky.
    I have been pull free for 35 days. My longest bout of freedom is 10 months. I find what helps me isn't thinking about the future, but just concentrating on remaining pull free in this moment.
    For scalp pullers, i also find tying my hair up helps!

  • Hi Rachel. Thanks for writing. That's really good, well done you, and well done for the 10 months, you're amazing! I'll be 14 days tomorrow, so have really been focusing on things to keep both me and my hands busy as I know the next few days are crucial. I know I've written this a few times on here and on the other thread I started, " How are you feeling?" but, writing on here and checking in with you all, really is helping me to maintain the focus.
    Feeling panicky is horrible, and I completely understand. I can't recall having it at night like yourself, but when I have it in the daytime it can make doing things really hard.
    Oddly, I'm doing some breathing right now and re-reading a lot of these notes as my hand is going to my face and I can feel my anxiety growing (as I'm riding this urge) to stop myself from touching my lashes. Having both hands on the keyboard is helping and actually writing whilst the urge is here is reinforcing what I want to achieve, PULL FREEDOM. Apologies if the message seems to make little sense, I just want to keep writing and breathing to get through it. I've got a cup of tea and am just rubbing that along my forehead. All this is working and this is big for me. One, to actually be talking about it as its happening; and two to be completely focused, and not letting that monster beat me. Urges are coming down and I'm calming too.

  • Congrats on 35 days Rachel! Having a disturbed sleep pattern can be so upsetting. Can you calm yourself down when you wake up panicky?

    Well done Lisa for 13 days! I understand how reading posts about anxiety can make your anxiety rise but I'm really impressed writing helps reinforce PF. I can't read all the forums because I absorb a lot of emotion (also can't handle the news) so don't push yourself if there's a topic too heavy for you.

    Hope you get a chance to go for a walk today!

  • Thanks Annie. i know I feel that I need to respond to everything (not just these threads.) You're right though, if there is a topic that's too heavy, then I will have to leave it. I did have a walk, and that picked me up, plus we've just booked our holiday for the summer as well. Hope you all have a lovely evening and enjoy the bank holiday. x

  • Hi Annie & Rachel!
    It’s great that you found us. We are small but we are a very supportive community and I hope you enjoy your time here and maybe make some new friends.
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