What to do for my 8 year old daughter

My beautiful 8 year old daughter has been pulling her hair out and it is now very thin on the top of her head. We have seen the gp and school are involved in helping support her but I need some advice on what to do with her hair. She has always had long hair tied in to various styles but it is now getting impossible to disguise her thinning hair........


  • Hi Helen, is your daughter upset by it?

  • Welcome Helen,

    I am sorry to hear that you are distressed with your daughter's pulling. I would take her to a fabric shop and give her a budget to spend on fabrics she would like to cover her hair with. Also make a matching "bracelet" with the fabric and stuff it with beans or beads that are fun to play with.

    There is a great video which can help on YouTube - go to trichotillomania.co.uk's ABOUT page and click videos from the menu with the pale flowers or stars.

    sorry for not helping sooner.

    Love and freedom

  • Hi Helen, I’m echoing what’s been said above about letting your daughter take back a bit of control over how to wear her hair and how she’d like to cover it (if she does!). Letting her pick out her own headscarves and look up fancy ways to tie them might help and what little girl doesn’t love wearing a flower crown or other headdress?
    In the meantime, distraction techniques are great and at 8 she’s probably not to young to learn simple needlework or maybe even a French knitting doll. Something to keep hands busy when urges strike. Colouring, painting and drawing may be useful too. Helping her to tackle any stresses around school or friends may help her feel calmer and less likely to give in to urges. You’re doing the right thing by asking for help and maybe you can find some good support in this community. In the meantime, I’m linking to a video which maybe of some use for you.

  • Thank you so much for posting that, SarahB. You're such a star and I know everyone here is so grateful for all you do to help.

    Helen, I was just speaking to a 12 year old client of mine and she suggested you tell your daughter that there are CCTV cameras all over the house now, even in the bathroom, so you can see if she is telling you the truth. I think this is a really good idea and an 8 year old will believe it!

    Love and freedom

  • Hi Helen, is your daughter still suffering like this? I started pulling my long beautiful hair at 6 years old. I had absolutely no hair on the top of my head and used to have to wear my hair in a Vicky Pollard side pony tail!!! Not very attractive at all and I wouldn’t recommend it 🤣 how ever I can recommend fashionable high pony tails with nice big scrunches to disguise the bald patches a little more. Also, Vaseline on her fingers for bed it’s almost impossible. Pretty headbands and bandanas, fashionable bows and high buns are a life saver. I used to have CCTV cameras in my bedroom from age 6-10 but I find is a little distressing and a massive one for privacy. Put maybe just lie and say there is some up there, my mum used to tell me there was before she got them and even though it’s uncontrollable it gives you a sense of will power knowing your being watched tying to succeed. Also back combing hair and hair spraying! I can’t think of anything else we did, hope this helps x
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