Help and advice for son (10)

Hi
My son is 10 and we think has trich. While he was in
year 4 my wife spotted he was pulling his eyelashes.
After us trying to help we contacted his school who
were great and he started seeing the school
counselor for help with anxiety. He was worrying
about being told off in school and this was making
him anxious. Over the next week's and months his pulling got less and he stopped seeing the counselor. We were made up with his progress with very few relapses.

He is now in year 5 and we thought we had cracked it
untill tonight when my wife discovered he had pulled
a large patch from the front of his scalp. To say we
are devastated is an understatement. He said he has
been pulling for a few weeks but didn't know the
patch was so bad. Lucky he has his hair so it can't be
seen as he is now worried about being bullied for it.
Has anyone had similar and what can we do to help?
We are lucky he does talk to us and is open but we
really want to help before it's to late. Should we
continue with the school or do we need to visit the
doctors to get help, or should we be looking to find
someone privately? Any help, advice, experience
would be greatly received. We just want our beautiful
little boy to get through this and not impact the rest of
his life.
Thank you in advance
Rob

Comments

  • Hi Rob,

    Just being there for him and knowing he can tk to you is great. You can get lots of help through this page coaching.care, with trained specialists who can help you and your son.
    Reassuring him as well will be really good for him. I started pulling at 11, and it's been a long road (Im 37 now.) I've had periods of being pull free, and I'm in coaching now through this page.

    Sending lots of best wishes to you and your family, particularly your little boy.
    Hopefully chat to you soon xx

  • Thanks Lisa. Hopefully we can help him get through it. Reading on here scares the crap out of me. The thought of him starting pulling now and having to live with it the rest of his life makes me sick to the stomach. Not being able to protect him and take it away from him makes my heart ache. I know just because he's done it once will not mean he's going to do it again and have it through his whole life, I just want someone to say don't worry he will get through it and will be a thing of the past. What is the best way to get him help and where do we start? Sorry it's probably the worst question and if we had a magic wand no one would be here. He told my wife today looking at the patch is like a punishment and makes him feel guilty for pulling his hair. Hopefully this makes him think about it and stops the urge in future but we can only hope. Thank you all again for any help or input.
    Rob
  • Hi Rob,

    No, sadly there isn't a magic wand that can just take this away for him, bit there's plenty of things that can help him. My advice would be to contact one of the coaches on this page, "coaching.care" They're incredibly supportive, and would be your best starting point. Of course, pop on here, & let us know how your son (& of course you and your wife) are getting on.

    I can completely understand that reading on here scares you, but you don't need to be scared. Just because he's doing it now, with the right help, may help him to become pull free.
    You're being a great Dad by reaching out for him now.
    Let us know how you all get on. Take care ,😀

  • Hi Rob,

    welcome. I've got lots of information I can send to you if you can send us a message through the website https://www.trichotillomania.co.uk, but the most important thing to know is that this isn't anyone's fault and you're not alone in going through this.

    Reassure your son that this isn't a punishment because he hasn't done anything wrong. Children often relate well to giving the condition a character, if you like. Rather than the child being unwell or having a problem, you turn it into a character like the trich monster/trichy monkey. "There's a naughty trich monkey who makes you pull your hair. We're going to make you go away naughty trich monkey, and we're not going to let you make us pull our hair out."

    It takes the pressure off of the child and helps them visualise what's happening. The condition is compelling him to pull and that compulsion is very strong and persuasive. You could liken it to something he's familiar with, like someone in the family who talks a lot, or is a chocoholic.

    This is our video for parents:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM5JU5oy1lU

    Information on support groups can be found here:

    https://www.coaching.care/trichotillomania/trichotillomania-support-groups/

    There's an online parent support group here:

    https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/ParentsTrichSupport/info

    Recordings, jewellery and habit reversal tools suitable for children are here:

    https://www.coaching.care/crystals/index.php?route=product/category&path=79

    Our pages for parents are here:

    https://www.coaching.care/trichotillomania/parents-of-children-with-bfrbs/

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